Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
