Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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