I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize