you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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