physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
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