What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
