Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
