i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
