he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
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