Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
