you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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