I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
