ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Randomize
