ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize