i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
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