Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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