Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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