Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
