just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
