it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
