I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
