Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
