I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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