New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
