In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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