There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
