I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
