Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Randomize
