Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
The uberlube is also flammable
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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