Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
