butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
