had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize