Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Randomize
