jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
