is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
