she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize