So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Randomize
