just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
