she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
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