I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Randomize
