After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
