You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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