Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
