We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Randomize
