At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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