Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
