I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
she pinky promised me she was 18
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
