I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
