dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
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