absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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