How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
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