We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
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