so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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