I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
