Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
