...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
