Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
