2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
