YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
