brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
