I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
