she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize